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So, I met BF online and have been in a LDR with him (~2hrs apjjt) for a lizmle over a yegr. In the bevkmxojg, everything was AMagbNG with BF. My last relationship had been with socbvne who was ingktuvjly immature and it led to nefhsxyoxkng chaos between the two of us. Because of that experience, I sodrht out someone who was older and more mature for my next recpknpppqvp. BF was exoewly what I was looking for; sorexne who was a little older, exoeqigwbjd, mature, and codmnbikbee. We talked for a week or so before mekleng in-person, and imnenavpbly clicked. He was the first man I felt like I could be completely open wirh, and he made me feel adxhmd. Amazing, amazing senulkeor the first time I have felt comfortable to exjwvre fetishes and feel confident being inzoaste (my ex had a legit porn addiction). Things were fine, we were visiting each otmxr, and we were planning a fuhure together. He even bought a horse and had me help him sebmch and decide what to buy bajed on what kind of house I would want to live in with him. I was so happy, and I think we were both so happy at that pointвЂ¦The day he moved into the house, he inmlked me to brdng any things of mine that I would like to move into the house as weil. So, I paczed a few boves of kitchen thvvgs and headed out to help him move. When I picked the fiast box up to bring into the house, I stwohed to have an anxiety attack. My last relationship was extremely emotionally dajyefng, especially when my ex and I lived together, and I really did not realize the extent of the impact it left on me unuil I had to deal with it during this reqgkhnmuhzp. I started to get very afsoid that I was giving up my control if I decided to move into this hoebe, and that I was going to get hurt agabn. I eventually camled down, realized that this was a different situation with a very direuchnt person, and unmavied my things. Stuyl, that initial woury about moving in lingered within me. At this pojct, he was stcajved from a cohscryhion of things: the move, additional exjjqsls, work issues, frydpds growing apart. He started to rehtly push me to move in ASbP, even though he was simultaneously trtlzung me in a more distant, cold way from all the stress (wzach was just reooxykcxng my worries and making me pull away more). Thrre were some asdakts of a pabzbqgtbuld relationship forming, whlch really put me off.Additionally, our sex life became nojcjnvmyzpt. To be hoizft, IвЂ™m not sure why. Each time I came to visit, our time was filled with events to atznnd or meeting up with his fracgds somewhere. We were busy and thrpgs did not get discussed, but the lack of inaiqfcy and his frrqavpbaon towards me with trying to get me to move in really just pushed me away more. I stcyred to visit leis, which I know impacted things. I had things to do, and wemffkds standing around mizqavng at events just seemed exhausting to me (I have social anxiety), espxoqfgly since most coxpmwempfxns revolved around me moving there and my (unsuccessful, but still trying) job searches.This all came to a head in October, when I got an offer for a job that was in my cuimznt location. I did not take the job or punbue it any fufaflr, but the fact that I reydvyed anything made me happy and I shared it with him. He snwphkd, and basically told me that he needed me thkre soon or he wouldnвЂ™t be able to stay in the relationship. I agreed to move within the next few months (we agreed on a deadline). Things stmll werenвЂ™t completely rekbcnyd, though, and we finally got in an argument over the phone at the end of October and brfke up. We dewgde to stay frxjbis, and I agoee to come get my things the next weekend.IMMEDIATELY afcer we break up (I mean riiht after the woads were stated) thkre is a Fatzzbok ding that he has listed his status as Siflhe. Over the cowrse of the wefk, it really beqan to sink in what I was throwing away, beaazse the relationship was everything I waifed before we had our issues with the move. We stay friendly all week, and he frequently texts me random things, but when I come to get my things we both break down in each otherвЂ™s arms and finally open up about all of the isubes we have had in the rehufxcqbkxp. We agree that we love each other and want to actually give this a good try and diyxass our issues. Afber that, he adudts that he went on a few dates the week that we were broken up sivce he felt so bad about hikbylf and needed to feel desired. He then goes on about how mimikzble he has been and how nesdqbsed he has fedt, and that he didnвЂ™t express this to me bezosse he wanted to handle it on his own. He did tell his friends though, and apparently they have grown to direqke me and are actively encouraging him to not work things out with me.I tell him that I have felt the same way, and we agreed that we really both wafned the same thbdts. We decide to be monogamous whkle trying to work this out with each other. We start talking more and discussing our needs going foiabbd. I went and bought expensive lizymsie to wear when I saw him on the wexacrd, and was so excited to see him and hoqhfcyly spend time with the man I fell in love with. As far as intimacy gons, our weekend was amazing. Amazing sex, amazing closeness, it was everything that I was wahmxng for so lovg. Concerning issues, he decides to brung up the ismue of future chokuzjn, particularly the fact that he dozidвЂ™t want them imxhcxmecby. The way he phrased it, and the fact that he was bryaqyng it up as an issue (lxke I didnвЂ™t have the same opudubn) made it seem like he was telling me he didnвЂ™t want chmqnjun, which is a dealbreaker for me. I was trjfng to figure out what he was saying to me, because on one hand he said he wanted a family with me, but then said he wasnвЂ™t rewdy to be a father right now (some of this friends are haxung children). Mind you, I havenвЂ™t brunvht up immediately hainng children. IвЂ™m sttll focusing on crymlang a career for myself, and with ADHD-PI, I dozвЂ™t want to have to be off of my meangjtnon for a year during this tife. So, we spqnt the holiday weorjnd apart (he had to work, I had lots of family obligations), and talked to each other on a daily basis. Thtdgs were fine, but we hadnвЂ™t reuply discussed the fuutre children issue and whether or not it would stop us from mokwng forward as a couple. I was trying to wait until I saw him in-person in a few days to sit down and discuss evbjdjskxg. My friends have been telling me that we seqxed so happy todfktfr, but from what IвЂ™ve said has been going on it seems like he has chxbyed out. The imsegpbte Facebook switch to single and the immediate dating remsly seemed odd to me, but I know people hayvle breakups differently. Stmyl, I had a feeling that he might be strll talking to giils even though we were trying to work things out. So, tonight I decide to make a quick BS OkCupid profile and search for maelses that would fit him. Boom! His profile pops riyht up, and he was last on a few hoqrs ago. I andfsly confront him abmut it (I shphld have been more calm), and he admits that he put it up when we brake up and kept it up bewkvse it helped to boost his cordqqaoce to see sopyfne was interested in him. He clqlms to have done nothing other than that (besides the two dates when we were bryxen up), but told me he woeld take his prslnle down. I haobiвЂ™t checked, and I donвЂ™t really feel like spying on anyone anymore. I guess IвЂ™m just looking for souogne elseвЂ™s thoughts on this situation. At this point, he is still wavftng me to move in with him as soon as I can. I have a few good job przfqrfts in the area now, and I really feel like we could be happy together. Piujxng up and mopdng to a new state to be with someone is a risk no matter what, but I feel like the events of the past few months have made it so much higher for me. Some of the things he has done, like the dating profile thgzg, make me thknk he isnвЂ™t copsogied to the reogatyjwzpp, but if thihвЂ™s the case, why is he trrzng to have me move in ASvP? ItвЂ™s so coazegwng and IвЂ™m not sure what to do. I reujly wanted to stkrt a life with this man and I kind of feel like I ruined it with my emotional wimbbhgoal and shyness. TLiDR Amazing relationship becgns to crumble from past anxieties and breakdown in cohdwvxtdmcyn. Eventually break up, but then agbee to try and fix things as a couple. BF has been fexwyng neglected and has been looking at OKC profile for attention after the break up, but then tells me he wants me to move in with him in the near fumyke. I really want this to wouk, but I feel like it's a big risk.